officialunitedstates:

"What does the chef recommend?"

"Sir, this is a mcdonalds"

(via hotboyproblems)

underthenerdhood:

a little girl who grows up thinking all doors are automatic but actually she’s haunted by a really polite ghost

(via teenytigress)

kyrael:

ghostintaylor:

gallifreyfieldsforever:

I sincerely believe that by 7th year Ravenclaws would just tell the door to their common room to fuck off and it would open for them

 (via)

Q “Why is a raven like a writing desk?” 
A “You shouldn’t shove either up your arse.” 
"…Technically, yes."

(via teenytigress)

princessoffloral:

collectiveassbutts:

earthswinds:

I need feminism; because the bra straps of a twelve year old shouldn’t make a 40 year old married principal with two daughters “uncomfortable”

So am I allowed to walk around adult women who are mothers and grandmothers at work with my cock out or what

in what world is someone’s dick equivalent to a fucking bra strap

(Source: needingiceland, via teenytigress)

cremebuns:

emeralddragoness:

cremebuns:

A man just walked past me and said “excuse me, but you look very nice tonight darlin” I said thank you and he said you’re welcome and walked off. And that is how you compliment a woman without harassing them

No, that is still unsolicited, and thus, harassment. No amount of “darlins” is gonna make me not want to punch your ass for coming on to me without provocation.

GOD

SHUT UP

UR SO STUPID

(Source: cremebun, via dutchster)

aeloist:

can i just hate people and not feel guilty

(via unpopuler)

qrieves:

"same sex marriage is unnatural!"

image

(via hotboyproblems)

unretrieved:

and then satan said “here, have feelings”

(Source: unretrieved, via hotboyproblems)